Human Sends God Disturbing Photo of Unidentified Creature

A deranged human from California sent me this disturbing photo of some kind of alien with an over-sized head, thin limbs and protruding ribs. Obviously, this creature is of another world, because I would never create something so hideous. She also asked me an unrelated question.

Dear God,

Why do you allow children to suffer and die from lack of food.

Love, 

Karen Freeman

* * *

Dear Karen,

I’m sorry, but your odd question and sick photo have me flustered. It’s clear you are trying to upset Me. You should know that an upset God leads to worldwide destruction and misery.

I can’t seem to find you right now; do you also have an abnormally large head? I bet you do.

And what’s with this random question about suffering children? I’m looking around right now and I do not see any food shortages. I do see a million grocery stores full of food. I assume you’re unaware of these great warehouses of sustenance? Have you not heard of Trader Joe’s?

Please stop sending me photographs of the Devil’s children. You are banned from contacting me for two months.

Love,

God